Mary Beth Writes

We spent a lot of money on our kids this past year and they spent a lot of their own money arranging and getting to all the stuff this family did. (Wedding events and more….). It was my opinion we didn’t need to spend more cash on each other. When I mentioned this to my daughters and sister-in-law, they agreed - so we decided to just do food gifts. Baked stuff, cooked stuff, tasty treats from delis, bottles of wine, etc.

This is what Christmas without major presents-shopping and buying has felt like:

Very. Very. Good.  

Len and I talked (this conversation was not very intense, maybe 10 minutes while we sitting in our office) about what we would like to do in December as well as what we would like to not do. We wanted to hear music, hike in a beautiful place, cook and eat good food, spend time with friends, get to know our neighbors a little more, not gain weight, live at a normal rate of speed, plus make our food-related gifts for our kids together.

I obtained tickets to the Christmas concert at Carrol University, which is walking distance from here. I may have cried a tiny bit when the choir that I thought was up in the balcony (they were at first) processed down the side aisles in the dark sanctuary, carrying candles while singing “O Come All Ye Faithful”. Why are humans so moved by yearning music and flickering candlelight?

Our granddaughter’s first birthday party was the next day, in Chicago. Off to a good month!

We had people over for several lunches and dinners; old friends and new neighbors. This can be a lot of work – and was. Challenging, funny, tasty (200 cinnamon rolls!) and rich. I don’t want to host weekly get-togethers every month of the year; but it was a jazzy adventure. Fourteen neighbors squished around a table designed for 10, speaking English AND Spanish – that was intimidating until it was opulent.  

(And because Len made his amazing chicken/ham/Andouille sausage gumbo and they didn’t eat it all, we now have in our freezer eight winter suppers for the two of us.)

We scheduled into our calendar the projects that we wanted to do. That way when things popped up we remembered to say no because we needed time to work.  The two sessions in the kitchen became fun; not just tedious tasks squeezed into over-busy weekends.

I have only done the normal amount of grocery and Goodwill shopping this month. No malls, no scrolling through Amazon on-line, no scouring little shops looking for “just the right thing”.

Our kids will all drive here Christmas morning and then they will  be here several hours until they drive away again.  I’m curious to see if it will feel disappointing because we do not have wrapped gifts to open.  

I suspect it will be just fine.

Like most of us: I loved Christmas when the kids were little and the pile of presents under the tree was magical. I loved the little play kitchen, the trikes and bikes, the Legos. There was the year of the American girl doll; Len built a 4-poster bed for Kirsten and I made bed-curtains and quilts. I will never forget my daughter, in her white and red nightgown, seeing that beautiful bed with her new doll in it, her hands to her face as if joy would carry her away.  There was the year one of the kids rode their tiny bike back and forth in the dining room. The Teddy bears and games, books and brightly colored sweaters. There were so many, many lovely, wacky, treasured presents over the years.

But the point of having and raising kids was always that mystery of human life – we need to give in order to receive; we need to join in the confusion in order to become clear-eyed about the privilege and craziness of being people. And that will change just as we do.

They love us, but they are building their own lives so we have to keep on doing that, too. I don’t want Christmas or any other holiday to be homage to what’s past. It seems to me that one of the best things we can give our kids is a path into older adulthood, and hints of the richness of the way it can be now. The magic isn’t in boxes wrapped with ribbons, but in a wintery season of music, candlelight, face-time phone calls with the baby who waves at us. In friendships and lovely meals eaten together and other meals skipped for a beer and a bowl of popcorn, because the book we are reading is just that good.

Life moves on.

To be really real here: In and among the hikes in the woods and concerts and amazing dinners and gorgeous friends – we have had three colds, my favorite pants broke, our car broke so bad the mechanic is suggesting a shot in the paw. Len has been working mammoth days for his contract job, Trump is still president, the Vichy Republicans passed their tax bill, and the cat just threw up in the hallway.

Comments

I still don't believe that's my new name...We are not doing real box and wrapping paper stuff either. Instead I've been going to Christmas concerts ( my brothers son is a music major at Parkside and is in several bands) Dinner and drinks with dear friends and just bringing food to people has filled the month of December with more joy and happiness then anything in a box ever could.

Made me smile. Merry Christmas, Gf!

Add new comment

CAPTCHA

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Quarantine Diary #507 YES #507!

Didn’t I announce back in March that my Quarantine Diary was done?

Argh. Never say never.

I assumed after two vaccines it was okay to meander the world as long as we are mindful of kids and people with fragile immune systems. So put on the mask in public places and don’t be overtly stupid.

Making Memories?

This morning the Washington Post has an article about how we make memories. Interestingly, just because we say we are “making memories” doesn’t mean we are. Most little kids will not start making many memories until they are around age 8. Memories get stuck in our mind if they involve several senses and we are going slow enough to pay attention. If one WANTS to remember something, stop paying attention to everything else that is going on, focus in on the thing you care about using more than one sense. Recall it again later. Deep sleep on it overnight and good luck with that.

Three Things & One Announcement 7/16/2021

Thinking Outside the Box: 

Len once told me this WWII story. The first generation of bomber raids from England to Germany resulted in a terrifying number of bomber planes being shot down. Experts carefully examined the returning planes to create detailed reports of the bullet holes as they tried to understand how to reinforce the planes to make them safer.

Three Things 7/7/2021

Israel’s Health Ministry this week announced that the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine — one of the world’s most effective shots — was offering only 64 percent protection against infection and symptomatic illness caused by the delta variant.

The vaccine was still highly effective at preventing severe illness and death, the ministry said.

(I read this in the Washington Post, though it’s other places also.)

7/5/2021 Three Things (Don’t miss Highland Mitzi)

Last year was the Covid quarantine so most of us didn’t do very much over the 4th of July holiday.

This year, with half Americans now vaccinated there’s more freedom to do things and be with people.

Three Things (Well, Four) 7/1/2021

Bill Cosby is out of prison on a technicality. The judge said 40-year-old Britney Spear still can’t run her own life. Yesterday 88-year-old war criminal* Donald Rumsfeld died comfortably in his bed.

My gut is twisting. How are you? Power, injustice, and money still row the boat that we’re all on. This nation is playing whack-a-mole with justice, hope, and human rights. It feels ominous. I thought I would just mention this in case you thought it was just you that felt assaulted this morning.

Nope.

Tag Cloud

9/11 17 minutes 500 Words AARPtaxes AAUW Acadia Accountable Advent anniversary antlers apples Arrows Ashland Augustine baby balance Baldwin Barkskins Beauty Becky Becoming Esther Berry birthday bistro BLM BookReport boy scout Bread BrokenDays BuyAngry Cahokia calendars Canada cat romance cats cello Choosing Christmas cilantro Cinnabuns circus clouds Clowns clutter Colonialism comet ComfortZone CommonSense consumerism Cops Corvid-19 Courage Covid-19 Crazy creditreport creosote CrimeShows death Debate December DecisionFatigue decluttering depression Destination Today Detroit disasterprep dollhouse Dreams Duty Easter eBay Eclipse EmilyDickinson Esquipulas exit polls eyes Fable FairTrade farmer firealarm Fitness Five Flexible flu Fort de Chartres frame Franc FrancGarcia friends frugal Frugality frustration Ft.Ticonderoga Gannets Garden GarfieldParkConservatory Gaspe genius geode GeorgeFloyd ghosts gorgons GovernorThompsonStatePark groceries Guatemala guns happiness HaveYouEver? Healthinsurance HelleKBerry heroes hike History home HomeRepair Honduras Hope HouseinBlueRiver hurricane impeachment Innkeeper integrity InternetPrivacy Interview InviteMe2Speak James Baldwin JoyceAndrews Judy JulianofNorwich justice Karen Lamb LangstonHuges LaphamPeak laundry LeeLeeMcKnight lemming Len Light Lincoln Little Women LockedOut Love Ludington Macaw macho Manitoulin MargaretFuller Maria Hamilton Marquette marriage masks Mayan MayaWorks meme Memories MilesWallyDiego MindfulChickens Mistakes moon Mother MothersDay mouser movies museums must-haves Nancy Drew New Mexico New York City Nomadland Ocotillo OscarRomero osprey Outside oximeter PastorBettyRendon Paul Hessert PDQ Penny persimmon poetry Preaching privacy Protest Quern quest Rabbit holes racism recipe recipes Remember Reruns responsetoKapenga Retirement rhubarb rime RitesofPassage Roses Ruth SamaritanWoman Sanctuary Sandhillcranes Santuario de Chimayo SaraRodriguez sculpture Sermon ServantsoftheQuest sewing Shepherd Shontay ShortStory sick sickness Slower snow Social Security SofritoBandito SpaceShuttle spring square feet staining stele Stereotypes StoryStarts stress Survival swim taxes teenager thankgsgiving Thanksgiving TheBridge ThePerpetualYou ThreeBillBoards ThreeThings TidalBore TimeBeing toddler Tom tortillas Trains travel Traveler Tubing turtle Twilight Bark Tyrone UnrelatedObservations urgency vacation vaccine Valentines vanilla Vietnam VivianWokeUpDrowning vole WalkingAndSeeing Wampanaog war WarsanShire weather weaving wedding WhyAttendChurch WillaCather Wisteria
Ad Promotion