Mary Beth Writes

I know several of you have loved ones who work with people who have Covid. I have heard from you the cynicism of your loved ones who scramble for protective gear, who scramble for equipment, who slog through long, wrenching, and exhausting days. So when those loved ones hear from the media that they are heroes, it does not, in general, seem to impress them.  They shrug their shoulders and go home to sleep.

 Especially right now since most hospitals are “for profit” and Covid has wiped out the regular day-in and day-out work of medical care sites. So, in the middle of all this – CAREGIVERS ARE BEING LAID OFF, FURLOUGHED, AND REASSIGNED.

I thought I would bring up this up. It is patronizing to call someone else a hero if you have no skin in their game. To lump tens and hundreds of thousands of nurses, various kinds of therapists and techs, doctors, janitors, receptionists, EMTS, and interns all together and call them all heroes and clap and hoot .. and then walk away – that strikes me as a glibness that doesn’t bring light or help.

I wrote about my distrust of heroes last fall. (Read it here.)  I’m not going to rewrite that article.

But I am going to ask this question. If we want to understand and support our medical caregivers – what CAN we do that is possible, real, helpful, and respectful? 

I’m not against clapping for worn out people as they come off shift. That must be something to witness.

But what would mean more and go further?

This is an interview with an ER nurse in NYC.  (Thanks, Gary, for the URL.)  

Watch it here. 

 

I’ve written about this before, but not in this way. My grandfather was 38 when he died, unexpectedly, during an April snowstorm in 1929. The snowstorm was relevant because it meant the doctor could not get to the farmhouse where they lived. My grandfather had mumps that had spiraled into pneumonia.  It is now 91 years later and I still know when it happened - which is the point I am going to make.

Paul Danielson left behind a 28-year old widow and two little boys who were 10 and 2. His mortgaged farm reverted to the bank and my grandmother moved into town with her boys. I can still hear my dad describing how they survived the Depression. “We lived pillar to post.”

There was no Social Security, no safety net; they were the poster family for “food insecure.”  My grandmother and dad (a 4th grader) scrambled for work and my uncle, still a toddler (I have a 3 and 1-year old grandchild, this breaks my heart), was farmed out to relatives during the week because my grandmother couldn’t take care of him while she worked. By his early 20’s my dad’s teeth were so bad a dentist pulled them and gave him false teeth. That kind of pillar to post.

WWII brought a good job for grandma; my dad and uncle went into the military. They did okay after that.  They were amazing people although I think my dad and uncle invented Type A behavior. My dad died of his heart attack at 48 and my uncle died at 58. 

This is what I think of when a person with a young family dies unexpectedly. The loss of love and the loss of a partner to help keep a family going – that will ricochet through that family for generations. I know the parts of my own character that exist as antidote to the loss of the grandfather I never met. Loss does incredible things to a family’s story.

This nation never really figured out how to take care of Vietnam vets with PTSD. Maybe we are figuring out some of it with some of the vets from the Iraq/Afghanistan war.

We are looking right now at a new generation of children and parents who will have to figure out how to put themselves together after devastating loss.

 …

I walked 80 minutes this morning. This is not routine, but it’s no longer unusual. Len just now came back from his bike ride – he rode 40 miles!  This is crazy quarantine stuff, too. 

Are you exercising, especially outside, more than you used to? 

Are we claiming the athletic youth we never had?  Or is this just a continuation of the same old nutty?

 Len took more photos of the ospreys and this is one of them.

 

Comments

MB, I'm not, as you noted, planning to drive 1000 miles to see the ospreys, especially when I can see them here in such good photos. I asked where they were because I'm hoping they're close enough for you guys to see them easily. :) Sedgwick
Mary Beth's picture

Hah! Len rides the Drumlin Trail almost every time he goes out. You can't see them directly from the trail unless you know they are there. Then you can stop and walk over and watch them. So yes, Len has somewhat adopted them and I have shown you maybe 5 or 6 of his photos. At this point (he's not sure if there are eggs or when they will hatch) he has maybe 50-60 good photos!

Thank you

My sister was telling me about a young guy she was going to x-ray and his girlfriend, she recognized the girlfriends T-Shirt as being from Aldi's and said "I love that store, I sulute you... The girlfriend said ¿Why? "You are the Hero dealing with the covid -19 virus? My sister said this is the job I signed up for, I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do.... My job is to help people... But you didn't sign up for this, you don't get paid much and you deal with more people in a day than I do... You're The Hero... Smart Woman my Sister...
Mary Beth's picture

And no one lines up to clap for grocery store workers as they leave their shifts ...

Add new comment

CAPTCHA

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Three Things 6/11/2021

Thing One - Eclipse Pix

Yesterday Len got up at 3AM to have enough coffee in him by the time he left the house at 4AM to meet our son at 5AM at Mud Lake (not all who name lakes are poets) which is between Madison and Stoughton. They fished and my son caught a big bass. Took a photo of it and then returned the fish to the lake. I think this is a weird, but I suppose less ultimate than shooting and releasing.

They also watched the sun rise in eclipse. 

Three Things 6/8/2021

Len has been riding his bike to visit “his” ospreys again this year. Not his, but he knows where they are and this is his third year watching them.

His photo is from yesterday.

A Few Things including Creosote & Good Books

I said, I wrote three fables but then I only posted two. I don’t like my last one so it’s not happening. But this is what I learned about Creosote.

...

Creosote, sometimes called greasewood or chapparal, is a plant that looks like a bunch of sticks with small leaves; it grows in small to middling clumps. In the spring and summer there are some scrappy yellow flowers. Creosote is native to the arid deserts of Southwest US and northern Mexico.

Wisterian Fable

Wisteria is a plant that grows on woody twining vines and is in the legume (beans!) family. It’s native to China, Korea, Japan, southern Canada, and eastern US.

Ocotillo Fable

This is how far we drove going to and coming back from New Mexico.

Santuario de Chimayo on a Wednesday Morning

Holy. Sanctified. Spiritual. Words we use in our religious lives. Words used by everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow selling vagina candles (I made this up to be funny and then I looked, and THEY EXIST!) to megachurches selling peace of mind seminars. We live in a secular world that uses spiritual words like used car lot flags - to sell us eccentric philosophies, theologies, experiences, and stuff.

Tag Cloud

9/11 17 minutes 500 Words AARPtaxes AAUW Acadia Accountable Advent antlers apples Arrows Ashland Augustine baby balance Baldwin Barkskins Beauty Becky Becoming Esther Berry birthday bistro BLM BookReport boy scout Bread BrokenDays BuyAngry Cahokia calendars Canada cats cello Choosing Christmas cilantro Cinnabuns circus clouds Clowns clutter Colonialism comet ComfortZone CommonSense consumerism Cops Corvid-19 Courage Covid-19 Crazy creditreport creosote CrimeShows death Debate December DecisionFatigue decluttering depression Destination Today Detroit disasterprep dollhouse Dreams Duty Easter eBay Eclipse EmilyDickinson Esquipulas exit polls Fable FairTrade farmer firealarm Fitness Five Flexible flu Fort de Chartres frame Franc FrancGarcia friends frugal Frugality frustration Ft.Ticonderoga Gannets Garden GarfieldParkConservatory Gaspe genius geode GeorgeFloyd ghosts gorgons GovernorThompsonStatePark groceries Guatemala guns happiness HaveYouEver? Healthinsurance HelleKBerry heroes hike History home HomeRepair Honduras Hope HouseinBlueRiver hurricane impeachment Innkeeper integrity InternetPrivacy Interview InviteMe2Speak James Baldwin JoyceAndrews Judy JulianofNorwich justice Karen Lamb LangstonHuges LaphamPeak laundry LeeLeeMcKnight lemming Len Light Lincoln Little Women LockedOut Love Ludington Macaw macho Manitoulin MargaretFuller Maria Hamilton Marquette marriage masks Mayan MayaWorks MindfulChickens Mistakes moon Mother MothersDay mouser movies museums must-haves Nancy Drew New Mexico New York City Nomadland Ocotillo OscarRomero osprey Outside oximeter PastorBettyRendon Paul Hessert PDQ Penny persimmon poetry Preaching privacy Protest Quern quest Rabbit holes racism recipe recipes Remember Reruns responsetoKapenga Retirement rime RitesofPassage Roses Ruth SamaritanWoman Sanctuary Sandhillcranes Santuario de Chimayo SaraRodriguez sculpture Sermon ServantsoftheQuest sewing Shepherd Shontay ShortStory sick sickness Slower snow Social Security SofritoBandito SpaceShuttle spring square feet staining stele Stereotypes StoryStarts stress Survival swim taxes teenager thankgsgiving Thanksgiving TheBridge ThePerpetualYou ThreeBillBoards ThreeThings TidalBore TimeBeing toddler Tom tortillas Trains travel Traveler Tubing turtle Twilight Bark Tyrone UnrelatedObservations urgency vacation vaccine Valentines vanilla Vietnam VivianWokeUpDrowning vole WalkingAndSeeing Wampanaog war WarsanShire weather weaving wedding WhyAttendChurch WillaCather Wisteria
Ad Promotion