Mary Beth Writes

I mentioned to Len this morning that this year I am going to make a New Year’s resolution. Usually I don’t make resolutions because I don’t believe people change (very much) by determining to “do better starting tomorrow.”  The person who works mightily to stop eating cookies tonight - while there are still cookies in the house - is probably going to become healthier than the person who is going to Stop Eating All the Sugar and Only Eat Roasted Brussel Sprouts … starting tomorrow.  Don’t ask me how I know.

So when I mentioned to Len that I am going to try to become more stubborn in 2018, his first response was so much laughter he had to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes on the neck of his sweater.

Apparently, after 30-some years living with me, he doesn’t really see me as a pushover?  I can see how he might have this opinion. There have been some moments….

But this is what I have been thinking about this week.

Stubbornness is one of those attributes where we pretend it is an affront against a person’s character, but is in fact – it is usually a compliment.

We sigh and say the toddler is stubborn, but what we mean is that child is exhausting us but we are glad she is that way.

We say that boy is stubborn, but we are glad he keeps playing basketball, or working on his robot team, or refuses to give up on his friends even when his friends alarm us. 

We admire people who have worthy goals towards which they keep working until they get what they need and want.

But I think most people are stubborn the way I am.  I push on behalf of people I like and love.  If you are my kid, I will push you hard, and then I will push hard at the institutions around you who are not giving you (in my opinion) a fair shake.

But being stubborn on our own behalf?  We have to believe that what we want is worth our attention and effort.  We have to have the courage it takes to stick to a person, project, or action that we are not 100% sure is the right person, project, or action.  We have to believe in what we want, even when we are smart enough to know there are almost always choices and options. We have to have courage to stick with our best idea and plow ahead.

That is the territory I want to stake out. That when a project is hard, to not find an easier or different project to do. Sometimes people have complimented me by noting, “How much you do…”  I generally know what I was avoiding while I did the thing people noticed. 

This year I am going to work at having enough courage to stick to hard and interesting projects and to say no to my own imagination when it wants to distracts me with unnecessary tasks.

(No, I don’t need to paint the hallway, or leave this paragraph to wipe the kitchen counters, or the other cool ideas I can always dream up - but you get the gist.) 

My resolution is to be more stubborn. Being stubborn requires slow, persistent courage. To be courageously stubborn on behalf of one’s own visions, hopes, arguments, and mission – there is a scary but interesting resolution. 

Let’s see how it goes.

Are you making a resolution this year?

Comments

I am forming the very same resolution, and you put it so well. As part of working with a spiritual director I've explored the Enneagram as a way of understanding my personality (again? still?) at this stage of my life, moving over the next five years from my current work as a pastor to working, but differently. I tend to not be stubborn on my own behalf, but stubbornness will be needed if I want to launch myself, moaning and bitching or cheering and sighing in relief probably, over this particular finish line and onto a new, exciting, scary path. So yes, stubborn will do nicely.

You go, Girl. I grinned largely because I can imagine Len throwing back his head and laughing u til he cries. I don’t think I am going to make a resolution this year - but, I am going to try and take care of myself better. Physically, and mentally - so, I guess that is a resolution u can periodically remind me of
Mary Beth's picture

Yes, isn't it amazing that at this point in our lives, we're still working on this stuff? But we are, so there you go.

Love the photo.

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Location, location, location...

Here is another short MB take on the impeachment hearings.

Why Ukraine?  

Location, location, location.

Trump wanted the Ukrainians to turn the Biden name into a scandal. Trump is obviously in the thrall of Putin; whether this is criminal or simply his dangerous fascination with strongmen is the questions du jour. In any case, it seems likely that Trump Whisperer Putin suggested, “All you need to do is connect Biden to graft and you can win this election. Worked the last time, didn’t it…”?

Because Putin wants to run Ukraine.  

Why?

Follow the money.

When they tell you who they are...

I have a very big cold.  Not all that relevant to you but aggravating to me. Anyway, last night I coughed and woke myself up a lot; I had time in which to to think about the impeachment hearing drama in Washington.  I don’t have that much to say all at once. But I am noting particular things as this goes along and I am going to say them

On Friday Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee harangued about the “the unfairness” of impeachment hearing’s rules.

The Impeachment Hearings - Argh & Damn

Len and I watched a lot of the impeachment hearings this week. George Kent, William Taylor, and Marie Yovanovitch showed us the worthy, smart, and patriotic Americans still serving our nation. Or at least trying to do so behind the chaos and greed, the ineptitude and apparent bribery of the people in this administration. 

Some Sore Paw Thoughts

 Last night I read on the sofa for a couple hours. Then I came upstairs, brushed my teeth, and went to bed to read some more. Honest, that’s it. That’s mostly what I did yesterday. A few chores and errands. A lot of reading.

Then while turning one more page - my foot started to hurt! One moment nothing; next moment a big twitchy thing flared along the side of one foot. I rubbed it and tried to stretch the muscles but that made it worse, so I took ibuprofen and went to sleep. I woke this morning and although it hurts less, it still hurts.

Genius & Why you Shouldn't Judge a Fish by What it Can't Do

Someone asked me what I thought might be the definition of genius. (If you send me an open-ended question I might try to answer you, too.)

Here are some of my thoughts.  Because on Halloween, plus the day the House of Reps votes on how to proceed with the impeachment proceedings, plus California is on fire, plus there is a half of foot of snow out my window – why wouldn’t we talk about shades of genius?

Sometimes it's calming to talk about a situation that doesn't exactly affect many of us. 

Why I'm Lukewarm on Heroes

I was emailing with my very smart cousin about heroes. He wrote (in a longer email): Are there heroes left? It seems like some of us have been pretty busy debunking our heroes, and if taking the varnish off is the objective, they’ve been very effective, IMHO. And the follow up question, what are the consequences of a hero-less world? 

 I’ve been thinking about this for weeks. So instead of posting the 17 pages I have written, let me say SEVEN things about heroes.

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