Quarantine #14 3/27/2020

Last night we did another wild and crazy thing. We got in our car and went for a drive! The first thing we remarked to each other was that we had not been in the car together in weeks.  It felt a little odd to be in there, next to each other, about to GO SOMEPLACE! Maybe this is the way it feels to be the family dog when they let you sit in the front seat and EVERYTHING IS SO AMAZING!

We drove west into the rosy sunset, filled with excitement to, um, see the sky.  Quarantines are easiest on people who have a low bar for excitement.

We ended up at Lapham Peak State Park. Saw one other couple who said “Hello!” and then later, “Have a nice evening.”  Voices, manners, good wishes from strangers? Who could ask for more?

The sun had just gone down. Len took these pix.

Those lights to the west are probably Dousman. 

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When I hear an extraordinary phrase I sometimes write it in the note app of my phone.  This morning I came across this from months ago. “Combing the snakes from one’s hair.” It means to intentionally deal with one’s stress in any healthy way that works for that individual.

The news is terrible and getting worse and I doubt that any of us will be attaining serenity soon. Actually, I’m not sure if any of us want to.  The sadness, uncertainty, and loss are real.

But we can try to keep up and keep at combing the snakes from our hair.

For me, it’s verbalizing the worry to myself and then taking some breaths. I listen to chatty podcasts (especially in the middle of the night), or go for a walk, or read, or watch a movie. Not very interesting or remarkable strategies, but any day one can get through without infecting ourselves or others - and when we manage patience instead of lashing out with irritation and blame - well, we did good enough. Keep the snakes out.

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Two things I read. I know I said I wasn’t going to re-write the news for you – but these are side notes that might be important for those of us over here at the side of this crisis.  

1. This is a poor time to have an avoidable accident. If you are decluttering – don’t stand on a chair to get that stuff down; get your ladder or stepladder.  If you don’t have a stepladder, order one or wait till things are not this crazy. Whatever’s been on your top shelf all this time can stay there a little longer. If you ARE ordering a stepladder, get a good one with a built-in handle.  Stepladders are one of those unsung items you will buy once and keep all your life. Don’t chintz.

If you drink wine or beer while you cook, great. Don’t drink fast and don’t have more than one drink until the meal is safely prepared. Right?

Go a little slower. Think about what you are doing. Stay out of the ER. They’ve got enough to do.

2. Sleeping more? Going to bed earlier? Waking later? Naps turning into mid-afternoon pillow festivals?

There’s an answer and it’s called “managing grief.” Literally we lost our old normal and it isn’t coming back for a long time, if at all.  Did you know that grieving people often sleep more? I’m sorry if you already know that. I do, too.

We are not undisciplined weaklings. Extra rest and crazy dreams are ways humans adjust to change.

I think this is helpful. No need to yell at yourself. Take the nap.

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I didn’t know when I wrote Quarantine Diary #1 what I was doing. I suppose I still don’t know. But quite a few of you have reached out to tell me you appreciate this daily writing. I’ve never before produced public stuff every single day, so this is new for me and it’s getting me through, too.

I’m completely aware most of what I write is pretty mundane. I think being ordinary people in the middle of extraordinary times is a lot of work. We have to get up, do whatever we need to do, eat vegetables, not drink the whole bottle of wine, talk to the beloved others in our lives. We have to floss before bed and be considerate to our partners if we have them. We have to not kick the cat or say mean things to the dogs. We have to be gentle and aware around children and try to share with them whatever calmness we can muster.

I have always been dazzled by the kindness and good manners of ordinary people. In greedy, awful, terrifying times of great need and loss - being considerate is a revolutionary act. 

Keep calm and carry on.