Mary Beth Writes

6/1/2022 

Last Friday evening on PBS Tonight David Brooks said something like this. “I am afraid for all of us. The news just pummels us.”

There are as many tough stories as there are fingers on a closed fist. The shooting in Uvalde. The shooting in Buffalo. The corrupt power of the NRA and other obscene wealth-mongers that are destroying our society from the inside of elected reps’ pockets outwards. Ukraine. Global climate mayhem. Oh, and covid is everywhere. Less traumatic for most; long covid for some. So that’s six fingers on that pugilistic fist.

No answers here other than it isn’t as if mayhem and injustice are new, it’s that we have global media coverage so it feels as if we are being pummeled. Would we rather NOT have had the video of George Floyd being murdered? Would we rather NOT have the audio of cops not responding to those children?

Offer a weird thanks that at least now we know.

That said, here are three things that moved and calmed my mind and heart in the past week.

This should be depressing but I didn’t find it so. Real information helps us figure out what’s going on.

The Washington Post ran a long article last week about white men and suicide. The writer is Jose A. Del Real and I am now following him on Twitter because journalists who tell a story clearly are my heroes.

Click here for the WaPo article. 

“Of the 45,979 people who died by suicide in the United States in 2020, about 70 percent were White men, who are just 30 percent of the country’s overall population. That makes White men the highest-risk group for suicide in the country, especially in middle age, even as they are overrepresented in positions of power and stature in the United States. The rate that has steadily climbed over the past 20 years.”

“Here in cowboy country, the backdrop and birthplace of countless American myths, Bill knows “real men” are meant to be stoic and tough. But in a time when there are so many competing visions of masculinity — across America and even across Wyoming — Bill is questioning what a real man is anyway. …..  Often, what he sees in American men is despair.”

MB here: The take away for me is this. What is the story by which we as individuals live our lives? Who did we admire and emulate as young people? Have our ideals changed and expanded? Are we claiming stories that ask us to be both kind and authentic? Or are we still living by stories that say “Sorry Buster, but you are not rich, nor handsome, and your closest people are losers? No wonder you can’t make it here anymore.”

Like this: This morning I saw a tweet that dissed Trump as a fat something or other and I cringed. I do not think calling someone fat should be used as a pejorative. Many of us have changed our idea about using fat as a slur or as a way to judge the intelligence and character of another person. Fat simply means large. That story that has changed.

Many of us watched the movie Nomadland which is a portrayal of a story that is changing now. Is it failure to end up one's life broke, living in a vehicle, driving from job to job?  Is that a failing of character? Or is that a failing of the tax codes and social systems of our society?  A story that is changing.

We don’t slander people because their brains don’t work the way our brains work. This is a changing story and many of us who grew up with minds that worked a peculiar way - and who got in trouble for it - we are here to say this story is changing, too.

This is what I mean by paying attention to the stories we live by. In huge and small ways, we constantly update and renew the stories by which we live. This is not about being politically correct. This is about finding a space in which to stand and breathe and feel something beyond despair.  

If you can’t get into the article, contact me by email or in the comments; give me your email address (I won’t publish it) and I can send the whole article to you.

Biking Borders

Speaking of slow stories that welcome your mind and heart. Len and I watched this compelling and non-dramatic documentary a few nights ago. By the end of the movie I felt calmer about the world. No little thing.

German Max and Portuguese Nono; two young men who are biking enthusiasts, traveling companions, and friends, ride their bikes from Berlin to Beijing. They do this to raise money to build an elementary school in Guatemala. The film pulls one into the adventure of meeting people with whom one cannot speak because of language barriers and yet those people extend beautiful hospitality. It is healing to watch humans being fully, humorously, and graciously human. Plus, the scenery is often gorgeous. I felt a little sad that I will never fly on a bike down mountain roads in Turkmenistan.

Biking Borders streams on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

This is their website.  

Their adventure was in 2018 so I’m not sure what, if anything, they are up to now.

My daughter gave me the novel 'A Gentleman in Moscow' by Amor Towles.

This novel is about fictional Count Alexander Rostov. In 1922 he is judged by a Bolshevik tribunal to be an unapologetic aristocrat and is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov must now live in an attic room while Russian history of the 20th century evolves and explodes. His woeful circumstances provide him a doorway into a big world, after all.

Reading the novel felt a bit like ‘Ferris Bueller in the Russian Revolution.’

One of the things I did while reading which I recommend is this. Towles sometimes mentions pieces of classical music. I made a “Gentleman in …” file in my streaming service into which I saved those pieces - and listened to all that gorgeous music yesterday while repainting the cement apron of our garage.

...

Concrete actions: 1. Both Len and I emailed our electred reps asking them to support gun registration and regulation.  2. When Beto O'Rourke interupted that new conference, I celebrated that powerful moment by immediately sending some money to his campaign. 

Comments

Loved “A Gentleman in Moscow”; way more than his first “Rules of Civility”. I could not get into “The Lincoln Highway”. I also sent money to Beto’s campaign after watching him confront power.
Mary Beth's picture

The phrases I keep thinking of: Speak truth to power. Good Trouble.

the photo of your garage apron made me smile :)

Beto is a good guy. Are there enough good ones around for us to get behind? I am an optimist, so I think there are.
Mary Beth's picture

Len is very active in the work of the Waukesha Dems. Len, you tell us who you are most impressed with right now.

Add new comment

CAPTCHA

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Y is for Yellowstone

9/27/2023

Back in February I asked you to give me topics to write about that would correspond to the alphabet. Sometimes several of you sent ideas for one letter and sometimes I wrote about all of them (I’s and S’s) Here we are at letter Y for which your suggestions are Yummy Food and Yawns. The word yawn absolutely makes me yawn; no way I could write about that - I would yawn for hours. I worked on Yummy Food but could only find a scolding voice about Americans eating too much sugar. Bah. True but not interesting.

So, I gave Y a go again. Y is for?

"I was Scott Simon's teller."

9/22/2023

First of all - Thank you to those of you who came to the Wisconsin Writers Association zoom gala last night. I HAD received an email a week ago which said I would be reading my whole story. Cutting it in half while I was reading was awkward! It was still a happy event for me and the other writers. Thanks for being there! 

X is for Xeriscape

9/20/2023

Xeriscape is pronounced ‘zeer-eh-scape’ and it means landscaping with little to no irrigated water. Readers in the west already know about this. Those of us who don’t live in arid or desert places need to wake up to the incredible resource that water is - then begin to accommodate ourselves to “water all around and beneath us all the time” is no longer our reality. Nor is it our right. We’ve got to get smarter and do better.

W is for Wonder

9/13/202

To whomever suggested Wonder - Thank You!  ‘Wonder’ has been bobbing in my mind like a frog in a pond.

However, I have FOUR suggestions from you guys for X - but I do not want to write four X essays. These are the suggestions:

1.) X signature substitution

2.) xylophone on a string pulled by a toddler

3.) xenophobia

4.) Xmas. 

If you have an opinion respond with the one you would like me to attempt. I will choose whichever X gets the most comments.

There will be no gerrymandering in this election.

GNTL - NAMI

9/7/2023

Grownups Noticing Their Lives

NAMI

Most of you know about my former weird and lovely job of coordinating an employability skills program for Huber-qualified inmates in the Racine County Jail (that’s a mouthful). Early on I realized that most of the people I would work with were people with 1.) huge addiction problems, and 2.) underlying and over-the-top and to-the-side just lying around mental health issues.

V is for Vocabulary

9/6/2023 

For those who are new here - This year I am writing about topics, in alphabetical order, that were suggested to me by readers. Sometimes this is hard! 

IRTNOG

My cousin-in-law Dave has some powerfully thorough avocations (for fun and profit he earned a PhD in biochemistry; you will notice this in his list). This year, among other pursuits, he has been collecting words which have appeared in our culture since 1945, which was the year he also appeared in our culture.

Tag Cloud

9/11 17 minutes 500 Words A-Z AARPtaxes AAUW abortion Acadia accident Accountable Advent aging Alaska anniversary antibiotics antlers apples appointments Arrows art Ashland August Augustine aunts baby Badlands balance Baldwin Barbara Barkskins Beauty Becky Becoming Esther Berry birthday bistro BLM Blue BookReport books boy scout Bread BrokenDays BuyAngry Cabeza de Vaca Cahokia calendars Canada canoe cat romance cats cello Chicago China Choosing Christmas cilantro Cinnabuns circus climate change clouds Clowns clutter Colonialism comet ComfortZone CommonSense community consumerism Cops Corvid-19 Courage Covid-19 Crazy creditreport creosote CrimeShows danger DarkRiver death Debate December DecisionFatigue decluttering democracy dentist depression Destination Today Detroit Didion disasterprep dogs dollhouse Dreams Duty Easter eBay Echoes Eclipse election EmilyDickinson eschatology Esquipulas exit polls eyes Fable FairTrade family farmer Fata Morgana ferns firealarm Fitness Five Flatbread Flexible flu Food Pantry Fort de Chartres frame Franc FrancGarcia friends frugal FrugalHacks Frugality frustration Ft.Ticonderoga fungi fusion Galena Gannets Garden GarfieldParkConservatory Gaspe genius geode GeorgeFloyd gerrymandering ghosts gifts girls GNTL gorgons goulash GovernorThompsonStatePark Graduation grandkids granola groceries Guatemala gum guns Hair happiness HaveYouEver? hawks healthcare Healthinsurance hearings heart heaven HelleKBerry heroes hike History home HomeRepair Honduras Hope HowCrowGotOutofJail humor hurricane Ice Cream idiosyncrasy igloos impeachment Innkeeper Instincts integrity InternetPrivacy Interview InviteMe2Speak James Baldwin Jan 6 Janus jewelry JoyceAndrews Judy JulianofNorwich Jump justice Karen kites ladder Lady Lamb LangstonHuges LaphamPeak laundry LeeLeeMcKnight lemming Len Light Lincoln Little Women LockedOut Loki loneliness LouisArmstrong Love Ludington Macaw macho Manitoulin MargaretFuller Maria Hamilton Marquette marriage Marsden Hartley masks Mayan MayaWorks meme Memories men Middlemarch MilesWallyDiego MindfulChickens Mistakes MLK moon Mother MothersDay mounds mouser movies museums must-haves Mustapha NAMI Nancy Drew Newfoundland New Mexico New York City Nomadland nope observation OBUUC Ocotillo OnaJudge ordinary OscarRomero osprey Outside oximeter Parade mayhem PastorBettyRendon Paul Hessert PDQ Penny persimmon photos Pi Pies pineapples poetry Preaching privacy procrastination Protest QE2 Quern quest Questions Rabbit holes racism reading recipe recipes recommendations Remember RepresentationMatters Reruns responsetoKapenga Retirement rhubarb Ricky rime RitesofPassage romance Rosemary Ruether Roses Roti Ruth SamaritanWoman Sanctuary Sandhillcranes Santuario de Chimayo SaraKurtz SaraRodriguez satellites ScottSimon sculpture Seasons Sermon ServantsoftheQuest sewing Shepherd Shontay ShortStory shoulder sick sickness Slower snow Social Security SofritoBandito solstice South Dakota SpaceShuttle spirituality spring square feet staining stars stele Stereotypes stories StoryStarts stream monitoring stress Survival swim Talent taxes teenager thankgsgiving Thanksgiving TheBridge TheMaid ThePerpetualYou therapy ThreeBillBoards Three Thing ThreeThings Three Things TidalBore TimeBeing toddler Tom tortillas Trains travel Traveler Tubing turtle Twilight Bark Tyrone Ukraine Ulysses Grant Umbrella UnrelatedObservations Up North urgency vacation vaccine Valentines vanilla Vietnam vision VivianWokeUpDrowning Vocabulary vole volunteer WalkingAndSeeing Wampanaog war WarsanShire weather weaving Webs wedding whines WhyAttendChurch Wiley Willa WillaCather Wisteria Won! Wonder words Xeriscape Yellowstone
Ad Promotion